Introduction

In BDSM, there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to dominance. Just as submissives can embody a variety of styles and personalities, dominants (or "tops") can also approach power exchange and play in unique ways. Whether you’re new to BDSM and exploring your dominance style or an experienced top looking for inspiration, this guide will introduce you to different kinds of dominants to help you figure out your own style—or maybe even try something new.

Let’s dive into some popular types of dominants and what makes each one special.

1. The Sadist

The Sadist isn’t about emotional control or establishing strict rules—they’re here for the physical sensations. Sadists thrive on delivering intense, consensual sensations to their submissive partner.

Traits:

• Finds pleasure in spanking, flogging, or other impact play.
• Focused more on physical acts than traditional power dynamics.
• Prefers partners who enjoy pain or physical challenges.

Example: A Sadist might enjoy warming up their partner’s skin with a paddle, savoring their reaction to every strike, while ensuring boundaries and safety are respected.

2. The Leather Dom

Rooted in the history and traditions of leather culture, the Leather Dom values respect, discipline, and order. They often follow established BDSM protocols and embrace the aesthetics and symbolism of leather attire.

Traits:

• Deeply respects the traditions of leather culture.
• Often uses formal titles, rituals, or symbols (like the hanky code).
• Loves the craftsmanship and care involved in leather gear.

Example: A Leather Dom might take pride in their well-maintained leather boots, incorporating boot worship as part of their dynamic with a submissive.

3. The Mentor

The Mentor is a dominant who focuses on nurturing and improving their submissive’s life. This might involve physical play, but their primary goal is to guide, teach, and help their submissive grow.

Traits:

• Acts as a coach or guide for their submissive.
• Prioritizes emotional and mental support alongside power exchange.
• Enjoys seeing their partner succeed and thrive.

Example: A Mentor might create structured routines to help their submissive with personal goals, like sticking to a workout plan or building self-confidence.

4. The Noble Dom

Refined, elegant, and poised, the Noble Dom commands respect with their calm demeanor and intense presence. Think of them as a regal, polished figure with a quiet ferocity bubbling just beneath the surface.

Traits:

• Polished, reserved, and composed.
• Commands respect through their demeanor, not aggression.
• Maintains control with grace and subtlety.

Example: A Noble Dom might issue commands with an air of sophistication, like, “Kneel, my dear,” turning even the simplest interactions into an art form.

5. The Wild Thing

The Wild Thing is a dominant who thrives on letting loose. They channel unrestrained energy and raw passion into their play, embracing their wilder side while maintaining complete awareness of their partner’s safety and boundaries.

Traits:

• Passionate and uninhibited in scenes.
• Balances intensity with sharp focus on safety.
• Enjoys the release of societal expectations and “rules.”

Example: A Wild Thing might throw themselves into a scene with energy and abandon, laughing loudly or growling during play, all while ensuring their submissive feels secure and cared for.

6. The Owner

An Owner seeks a dynamic of complete control over their submissive, often incorporating elements of lifestyle BDSM. They might supervise their submissive’s daily routines, diet, or even wardrobe, creating a dynamic built on structure and devotion.

Traits:

• Prioritizes total control and responsibility for their submissive.
• Often uses terms like “property” to define their partner’s role.
• Emphasizes mutual respect and trust in high-control dynamics.

Example: An Owner might create detailed rules for their submissive to follow, such as when to eat, how to dress, or specific ways to address their dominant.

The Big Picture: Be Your Own Kind of Dominant

There’s no “right” way to be a dominant. You don’t have to fit perfectly into one of these categories, and it’s okay to blend elements from multiple styles. Maybe you’re a Sadist with a touch of Wild Thing or a Mentor who occasionally embraces leather traditions.

Key Takeaways:

• Communicate: Open, honest conversations with your partner(s) are the foundation of any BDSM dynamic.
• Stay Safe: Always prioritize safety and respect boundaries.
• Be Flexible: Your style may evolve as you learn and grow within the BDSM world.

Your dominance should reflect who you are as a person. Whether you lean towards playful chaos or composed control, the best kind of dominant is one who stays true to themselves while respecting their partners.

So, what kind of dominant will you be?